


Something In The Water

by pinkbow



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 19:03:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5345105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkbow/pseuds/pinkbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I just... I just don’t understand how after everything we’ve been through you couldn’t trust me enough to even tell me about your son. I just found out and I already love that little boy so much simply because he is a part of you, and there’s no part of you I cannot love.”</p><p> </p><p>Post 4x08. 4x09 speculation. Felicity deserved better and so did Oliver's character development.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something In The Water

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so disappointed in the writers right now. There were about a thousand ways to approach this storyline, and they picked the worst, most contrived way for the sake of what exactly?! 
> 
> Oliver needs to have a voice, I understand why he did what he did (even if he’s SO wrong) but the writers can’t keep making him do stupid stuff that kills his very hard earned character development and not explain his reasoning. He has a voice, let him use it. Felicity deserves better and I'm 90% sure she knows Oliver lied to her. Olicity deserved better because their mature based on trust relationship was basically shot to hell last night for no good reason but to create unnecessary drama.
> 
> This is my way of letting some of my emotions out since I somehow started to imagine millions of angsty scenarios. It's not that much of a fix-it, actually it's not a fix at all but it wouldn't leave me alone! Sorry if it sucks I’ve never written an angst story before and for the mistakes, English isn’t my first language.

“STOP! I cannot hear another lie.” Her voice boomed inside the limo and he’s glad the privacy glass is up and their driver won’t be privy to this conversation.

“It’s more complicated than that...” He tries to start but he knows it’s the wrong thing to say when she doesn’t let him get past that.

“God, Oliver! You’re the only person on this planet who considers the truth complicated. Just to be clear, I don’t _care_ that you have a child. I _can’t believe_ that you have a child that you didn’t tell me about. I care that you _lied_ to me just now.”

“You know, my whole world just exploded… and I think I’m entitled to a… minute, to process that by myself.” His voice feels stuck in his throat and raspy while his eyes start to get moisty and while he tries to keep the emotion in, he’s not entirely successful.

“Except you managed to somehow tell Barry about it and even Damien Darhk knew. You didn’t keep it to yourself, you kept it from me. When were you planning on telling me?”

“I don’t know.” He whispers and he can feel his voice start to fail him and tears he didn’t even realize were there, fight not to fall.

“If you loved me, if you trusted me… telling me this wouldn’t be such a burden, it’d be a relief.” He can feel her emotions getting the best of her and replacing the anger. She sounds resigned, like there’s nothing left to say. There is though. So much to say and he apparently can’t get his mouth to start working. She moves to touch her finger where his mother’s, no, _her_ ring has been for barely an hour. “But you _don’t_ trust me. You never will. And how could I be with someone who doesn’t trust me?” By then she’s taken the ring off and while she doesn’t move to give it to him, keeping it on her now trembling hands, he feels the finality of the act all the same.

“Felicity…” He trails off as his eyes burn with unshed tears. He should not be surprised that everything went downhill so fast. He should also not be surprised that it’s his entire fault. He should have told her as soon as he found out. He shouldn’t have lied. He should’ve been the one to tell her when it was just the two of them. It shouldn’t have been Damien Darhk in the middle of his campaign Christmas party/their last minute engagement party after his public marriage proposal.

“I just... I just don’t understand how after everything we’ve been through you couldn’t trust me enough to even _tell me_ about your son. I just found out and I already love that little boy so much simply because he is a part of you, and there’s no part of you _I cannot love.”_ She’s not yelling or raising her voice anymore. She’s speaking in a normal tone and it breaks him more than if she were yelling or throwing things at him. “Oliver, the hood, the arrow, Al Sah-Him, the green arrow, even the playboy you I never got to know… I love all of them because they make up who you are. They helped shape the man I love and believe in. Because even if I’m not sure I can trust you with my heart anymore, I still believe in you and the person I know you are.” The tears rolling down her face and the way he can see her now clenched fists trembling in her lap feels like his heart was pulled shattered piece by shattered piece out of his body… and it’s all his own fault. He shouldn’t have waited. He should’ve trusted her. _Trusted them._

He moves his hand towards hers to try and offer some reassurance, for which one of them he doesn’t know, but she pulls away and it suddenly hits him that _this is it._ He tries to come up with something, anything that will fix this but his mind is blank and the only thing he can say is the only thing he wants, the only thing he let himself dream of having for the rest of his life,

“Felicity…”

The sound of shots ringing out and glass breaking interrupts him as their now dead driver, he knows the sound of a bullet hitting a skull, loses control of the limo. It spins and goes off the road and into the river. It feels as if everything is in slow motion. He watches as Felicity screams and flies out of her seat, hitting her head on the mini bar across from them. He yells her name and moves towards her before realizing he has his seatbelt on and _“Fuck! Why is she not wearing hers?”_ he thinks and tries to unbuckle himself, but the spinning car and hitting the water disorients him on his first try.

Water starts to fill up the car fast, too fast and by now he’s aware Felicity is unconscious. He successfully unbuckles his seatbelt this time as he watches the water mix with Felicity's blood from what appears to be a head wound, turning red. By the time he's free, Felicity already half submerged and he swears he’s never swan so fast in his entire life. When he’s close enough to touch her, still for some reason, closed fist, she is pulled away from him and sucked out of one of the broken windows. Suddenly it’s the Queen’s Gambit all over again, only now it’s not Sara but Felicity, the love of his life, and there’s _no way in hell_ he won’t try with everything he has to save her.

He can feel the glass rip his suit and cut his arms but he can't fell anything as he pulls himself out of the window and starts searching for her. His eyes sting and the waters are so dark he can barely see in front of him. He keeps swimming and looking when out of the corner of his eye, he spots a shadow and something shiny and quickly moves towards it. His lungs are starting to burn but he’s been through worse and he’s _so close._ One more kick and he finds himself holding onto one of her arms. Pulling her close, he sees that her engagement ring, somehow, got tangled on her hair. Keeping her close by lacing one arm around her waist, he starts kicking towards the surface. At the same time, his other hand holds her head gently and keeps the ring between them.

As soon they break through he starts swimming towards the edge of the lake. He's holding her close to his chest while getting out of the water, almost falling to his knees when he realizes he can’t feel her breathing against his neck. His mind is in a loop of _“No. No. No. No. No. God no.”_ as he finally gets to the edge and puts her down on the ground, kneeling over and her trying to find a pulse.

“Come on, breathe. Just breathe, honey. Please Felicity. Please.” The words are just coming out of his mouth and he never felt empty like this. When he finds a faint pulse it feels like the world starts turning again, but it’s so weak it feels like the world started turning the wrong way. He starts pumping her chest, trying to get her to cough up the water she’s swallowed and somehow words keep coming out of his mouth. They probably don’t make any sense but he just needs to feel connected to her. He needs her to _know_. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave me. Not like this. Not now. We were supposed to have at least another 50 years. I’m so sorry. Don’t go.”

Maybe if he keeps talking she’ll open her eyes to show him that she’s there. That she will not be giving up. On him. On them. On life. “I’ll do better. I’ll be better, I promise, just don’t leave me. Please, I’m begging you and whoever will listen. I’m sorry for being such an insecure idiot. I love you. So much. I can’t live without you. Stay with me. I love you. Just hold on and I’ll get help and you’ll get better so you can yell at me all you want. Just don’t die.” His voice breaks, his breath catches and he can tell he’s crying by the taste of the tears in his mouth but he just needs to keep checking her for a pulse and pumping her chest. Because he knows help is coming. Diggle’s car wasn’t that far behind. “Felicity… Felicity, I love you. I love you, okay?! Please stay with me. Felicity!”

This is not how this ends. It can’t be. They were supposed to be together, get married, have kids and grow old. It’s not supposed to end with her dying in his arms thinking he doesn’t trust or love her enough to confide in her. He may be beyond saving but she’s the purest thing in his life and he can’t go on without her.

_1, 2, 3. Pump. 1, 2, 3. Pump. 1, 2, 3. Pump. Pump. Pump._

He can hear someone shouting his name in the distance. Diggle. Dig is shouting his name. He thinks he yells out a “Here!” but he can’t be sure because when he tries to find Felicity’s pulse again there’s nothing. His fingers press a little harder but there’s no _thump, thump, thump_ under them. “No. Don’t do this, please. Dig’s here. Help’s here. Don’t give up now. I love you. I love you. Felicity, come back to me. Felicity. Felicity.”

He whispers her name over and over again into her hair while holding her close and rocking back and forth as his voice echoes in the night at the same time the ring she was holding in her closed fist, and he never realized fell off her hair, hits the bottom of the lake, along with the life they could’ve of had together and whatever ability he had to be happy.

 

_“I played my drum for Him_

_Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum_

_I played my best for Him_

_Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum_

_Rum-pum-pum-pum_

_Rum-pum-pum-pum”_

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn’t not use some of the Olicity dialogue from their fight on that porch. It was so good in a tear-my-heart-out-and-leave-me-here-to-die-way. Or end with LDB. I can already feel the pain from 4x09 though and I can’t wait! I thought Stephen and Emily knocked it out of the park in 4x08 as they usually do, even if the writing was deplorable and an easy out. So 4x09 should just finish killing me and I’m okay with that! Lol Thanks for reading! (:


End file.
